He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
