Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
