Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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