please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
nutella sex= disaster
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
