He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
