She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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