Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
