i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
