The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
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She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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