no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
