got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
