I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
