So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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