i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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