I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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