So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
