had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
