if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
