Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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