I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
