its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize