Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
