Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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