I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
