covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
