I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
