she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
