I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
