I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you never un-have a 4some
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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