Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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