My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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