Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it's like iHOP with fire
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
