she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize