Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
