Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
