She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
