Ambien. No doubt about it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
