Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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