i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
