We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
