Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK WHALES
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
is it fun? or sober?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize