My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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