listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
