hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
