Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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