Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
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I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
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I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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