Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
