Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
