This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
