Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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