Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
