I need help removing her.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
