Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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