remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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