im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize