I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i want to swaddle you in tequila
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She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
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Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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