Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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