I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
