I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I AM VODKA MAN
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
