WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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